djnavv

I”m still looking around ..
but maybe i have realised now that what i am looking for is not where i can ever be
it ceases to exist in my presence
it gets so abstract everytime i think about it
i didnt have any friends when i was home
maybe thats why i came here
but i dont want any friends
i dont want any friends , but i want to look for a friend
i have no idea why
i do not know if i really even want to find a friend
maybe i just want to look
it gets dark and i feel lonely
i am thirsty for solitude
i dont like emotions
but i like to control the urge to cry
when i cant cry frustration envelops me
when i cant let out that frustration, i want to cry
when i want to cry, i dont
then it hurts deep inside, and it hurts at the tip of my thumb
it pains sharp there
it tells me that i am hurt
my thumb helps me hold on to things
when it pains i have to let go
i hate what i cant have
i hate emotions