Introspection: I’ve been travelling, which way now ?
I would think I’d be tired, sleepy and eager to hit the bed at 2:30am - after 6 hours in the bus from Delhi to Chd, and 2 and a half hours in the plane from Bangalore to Delhi before that. I was actually, just until before I entered my room. I just came back, dumped my bags around the room and switched on “the internet”. But I had to write before I did anything else.
I’ve been out for quite some time, and I actually realized this in the bus about an hour back:
16th March - (Chd-Delhi-Mumbai-Daman ) - 17th March
19th March - (Daman-Mumbai-Delhi-Chd) - 20th March
23rd March - (Chd-Delhi-Mumbai) - 24th March
27th March - (Mumbai-Delhi-Chd) - 28th March
29th March - (Chd-Delhi-Bangalore) - 30th March
2nd April - (Bangalore-Delhi-Chd) - 3rd April
I’ve been out, but right now I feel like running away. I’ve been trying. Won’t mind if someone pulls me along this time. I need some time. Time doesn’t feel constant any more - it’s more sporadic. It comes to me in the bus, or on the plane. Or maybe, on my bike on the way to the office in the morning. It’s not because I’ve been travelling that I am complaining about time. It’s got more to do with where I see myself standing. I think I am at crossroads again.
The problem this time is, I can’t see clearly either way. I’m waiting for the fog to settle down, but I see it’s taking it’s own sweet time. I can’t make out what options I have to choose from. I don’t even know what is it that I might want to look forward to. I realise, I need some clarity in my mind to see through the fog outside. I think I might be feeling too weak. Or maybe, it’s just too much noise inside, that’s making me tired.
One thing, and I don’t know how it could be relevant at this juncture: I’m happy that I’ve managed to keep some people close to me after all these years, and I want to let you guys know that I’ll be holding on. I’ve realised, maybe after being reckless, that I need you guys and I’m willing to give in more to keep you close.
I don’t think this is the end of the post, but I need to gather my thoughts right now.
You are growing up…….
its the Quarter life crises.
and it all part of the road called life… and like all roads it will have uphills, downhills, curves, turns, sharp turns and CROSSROADS.
Take your own sweet time to take the RIGHT turns.
Moreover i dont see a reason - y shouldn`t one wait at a crossroad till one knows where he going or atleast have a better idea wheres he going.
Time will always be constantly ticking. Its only the realization thats sporadic.
Keeping the realization at the back of your head, while taking ones own sweet time to decide when to push that paddle, is the key i guess.
+ keep a check on wat one has before preparing the checklist for wat one wants…
+ we always liked going uphill
i liked it cause it has no turns and only one trail winding up a beautiful view at OUR cruising speed
Come here get some loooove!!:D
@sameera: yea, i kinda noticed … i’m expecting a bit more reasoning though …
@harsymran: i don’t need to be thinking more … but yeah, u wait till u know where to go … i think i’ve been waiting long enough now
@aman: needed.
…and he packs his bags and moves on and on and on..Life is a journey and i’m gald youre the unpacked shepherd…..
Like your life….
I cant think of something ‘intelligent’ right now but I have been reading…
And Jesus once said - ‘I am the way and the truth and the life’. As we all may agree, he wasnt conceited enough to have been really saying that to make himself appear cool - the ‘I AM’ represent you and me and everyone else and perhaps God itself (which is too deep so a ‘perhaps’)
PS Another thing is said was ‘Deny Thyself’, then only will you find what you are looking for / or not looking for?
You wont be happier or better or richer…you would simply BE.
…kinda know da feelin dat u talk of…i guess da noise inside is da one we keep running from and try and chase cars around our heads around somewhere else and u find dat u and many around u are nothing but shadows of emptiness in this volatile world……i guess its usually difficult to come out of a rabbit hole unchanged especially if its one where u went in purposefully… or those for whom sometimes ignoring these questions and moving in the oblivious world becomes more convenient than racking your brain over them…….hope u find ur answers…. take care of urself and im sure there are still many people who would still wanna be there for u..
Well thats kinda sweet… knowing the Navjot that is… right now with the introspection hat on….
Keep holding on.. however sporadic the time… we’ll hold on as well..
@anonymous: chasing cars around our head … now i know .. was curoius
@teddy: “just be” … yea i guess … (ps - check footer)
Too much of introspection nav….Its either the fear of unknown or the fear of known thats making u think so much…
Insecurity and unsurity….can kill u every moment u live…no matter how dynamic u r and want ur life to be…
Just go with the flow…U’ll be fine…..DUN TRY TOO HARD!!!
TAke care Nona
Chasing Cars around our head, thats not Anonymous, thats @!
@Shivani:”its either the fear of unknown or the fear of known thats making u think so much…” and the third variety of fear is?
“Nona!!!! ”
@Nav: Dude, Stop chasing cars around your head.. you know where ull get all the answers… Nona!!! Ok maybe i am going over the top, but hey, Nona!