Fed up because I can’t understand myself.

Fed up because I can’t figure out my own interests.

Fed up because I can’t finish anything to the end.

Fed up because satisfaction doesn’t come easy.

Fed up because I can’t stay at one place.

Fed up because I can’t stay interested.

Fed up because I expect too much.

Fed up because it all comes back again.

Fed up because I can’t stay focussed.

Fed up because I can’t tolerate.

Fed up because I can’t achieve an end.

Fed up because I don’t believe in “I can’t”.

Not really trying to be Norwegian, but it rubs off a bit I guess.

I’m finally feeling a bit settled here in Oslo, the cold-unpredictable-a bit tasteless-but fun anyways Oslo. It’s been getting cold, and warm again, and rainy and sunny and gray. Annoying really, and it’s been getting me down with the “season change” cold. Been down with a running nose for 2 weeks out of the 7 that I’ve spent here so far. Nothing much to worry though. I’m used to it.

Really loving the cosy apartment (that by the way, we trashed a few weeks back - http://www.flickr.com/photos/navjotpawera/sets/72157607544589237/). It’s awesomely cozy and comfy when needed, and a great party place when … well every weekend I’d say Kat and I are having a great time. We’ve been through 3 seasons of “Coupling” (twice I think), around a dozen movies and almost all genres of music one can think of. Lissy has been giving me cooking lessons and I’m supposed to know how to cook some sort of salmon, butter chicken, chicken do piaza, dal makhani and pasta. Although if I know myself well enough, I wouldn’t go for dinner If I invited myself.

I’ve been taking Norwegian classes and being as dedicated as I usually am, I’ve been able to achieve 50% attendance so far. Going pretty good I’d say, especially as the motivation is to communicate with people who don’t really like to communicate.

Oh yes, the REM concert was GREAT :D. Russell Peters was OK. Hiking out to the random mountain and barbecuing sausages in the middle of nowhere out was also good. Shopping at IKEA wasn’t.

I miss friends from home some days. Terribly. Would love to have all of you here I plan to be home soon. By soon I mean, it depends on when Mr. Kalkat plans to get married - might be February, or April. I do have a few trips planned before that. Germany, Austria and Switzerland with Wolf next month. Ukraine in November for 10 days. Hopefully, I’ll make it to the US to spend the Christmas with my awesomely cute angels - Khushi and Ishi - who’re growing up without me. Also, might be able to sneak away to Egypt for a week sometime before that. Hopefully. And yes, I screwed up a planned trip to Stockholm, for the third time. It’s jinxed ofcourse.

Anyways, it’s gonna be fun here. I hope

At the end of this month I shall pack up and move to Oslo, Norway. I’ve been offered the position of a “Product Manager” by Opera Software and it requires me to move to Oslo. Norway, the country of the vikings, aurora borealis, midnight sun, dark cold and long winters.

This also means that I won’t be working as a Web Evangelist anymore. I loved Evangelising, meeting new people, traveling around - this is going to change. My new job will have more office based responsibilities. I’ll need to get into a 9am-5pm routine. At the same time though, I think it’s a really good professional next step for me I’ll be responsible for some of the main products of the company. That is a lot of responsibility.

On the personal front though, I thought I was getting close to being a “responsible guy”. I’m not. Not at all. I don’t know if or when I’ll ever be one. The lure of breaking out, being “not responsible” is too much. But more than that, much greater than that is the fear of being “responsible” itself. I’m not sure how good or bad this is, but I know my life isn’t going to go otherwise at least for now. I definitely know this hasn’t left everyone around me very pleased with me, but I just have my tail between my legs when it comes to being that “responsible guy”. Maybe moving to Oslo will let me think more into this, or it might help me grow out of this, or even make me realise what I really want - but I guess thats the only option I have for now.

So I’ve spent quite some time in Oslo already - I was there for almost 3 months last year, and spent this May & June there as well. It’s quite a decent place (although I haven’t witnessed the winters yet - which they say are NASTY). I’m sure there’s gonna be plenty to keep me busy in Oslo. Snow boarding, sailing, traveling around Europe etc etc etc. I am looking forward to all that, but right now I am going through a phase where I’m thinking more about the things I’m going to miss. Especially Bangalore, I was enjoying my time here more than ever. It’s not so easy to say good byes, but I wanna meet as many of my friends as I can before I leave.

My schedule looks like:

Now - 17th July = Bangalore
18th July - 19th July = Delhi
19th July - 23rd July = Chd
24th July - 29th July = Thailand (woohooo !! )
30th July - 1st August = Chd
1st August = Fly to Oslo

So if we can meet up somehow, do let me know. I don’t have a working phone these days so emailing me (preferably a bit in advance) is the best way to get in touch.

Write it on a paper,
and make you a plan
Spoil your little adventure,
walk you on hot sand

Light you a fire,
sit around for a while
Tell you a tale into the night,
get you through with a smile

Let me take your thoughts,
on a stroll in my mind
Walk them down the cobbled lane,
to the three rings around number nine

I’ll take your early morning dreams,
give you some crazy silent screams
Get you higher than you’ve ever seen the sky,
Drop you down the devils bloody streams

Build a red brick wall,
that whispers when you walk through
Listen to its cries,
the tales it says are all but true

When the sacred red water,
will touch your beautiful feet
When the smiling white faced entertainer,
will be prepared for you to meet

You’ll see the sun lying down on the sand,
and the white haired mans tricks will be all planned
They’ll all dress up and light up and put up a grand masters show,
Look around for the witch with the coloured beads and listen to her dark black crow

When you get to the top,
and close your eyes,
You’ll see the path grow,
beyond the starry skies

If you climb through the fog,
and reach the garden with flowers unknown
You’ll come back and tell me your story,
of where the madness is carefully grown

We’ll light another fire,
and roll another dream
I’ll smile and listen this time,
to your crazy silent scream.