I've still got a bunch of those stickers if anyone wants one

After almost 4 years and great time spent with some incredibly smart and witty folks, I’m am leaving Opera (& Oslo) just before this winter ends.

I’ve been feeling the same way I did when Opera hired me back in 2006. I had quit my job with no concrete plans, other than that I wanted to move out, live in a new place and meet new people. Opera offered me something that was perfect. They asked me to travel for them, to go to new places and talk to new people. I traveled around a lot and ended up in Oslo. Now I want to travel and make new plans again. I’m super happy that Fi thinks the same, and we’re uber excited

I’m leaving with a smile on my face looking at the time spent here, but a sadness that comes from knowing I’ll be more than just a 15 minute walk away from people I love and grew so close to. I’ll miss not being able to just drop by for a drink.

As for the new plans, Fi got a transfer to Singapore and she’s managed to sell the sun-food-massage-beach package well to me. So we’ll be heading off to Lion City very soon. I haven’t started the job search yet, but plan to do so very very soon. I just can’t wait to get there! Do send me a shout if you know of some enviable places to work at

But before that, I want to come back to India for a little break before heading off to start the summer in Singapore So let me know if there are any plans, I might drop by for a drink

Around a month ago I found myself at a point where I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I knew exactly what I needed. I had clarity and I could justify it to myself completely. Nonetheless, I was repeating to myself, “A man’s gotta do, what a man’s gotta do”. Again and again, till I gathered up all the courage I had, and then some more. I wished once more for everything I had ever wanted, and then asked Fiona to marry me. That day, I didn’t care for anything I wished for. My wishes didn’t make me feel the same way as asking her to spend her life with me did. That day I knew Fiona was worth more to me than anything I could every wish for. That day my wishes became secondary and I knew clearly what I wanted.

Ladies and gentlemen, please let me introduce to you, my fiancée, Ms Fiona J Craig.

Ms Fiona J Craig

Some of you have met her already, and some know of her. We met last year in Oslo and got engaged on Midsummer Night (23rd June, 2009). I’ll leave the detailed introductions for when you meet her (hopefully later this year).

We haven’t planned anything concrete yet. We’re just getting ready to fulfill our wishes now, together. She’s making faster progress on that one, as you can see.

Delegation of the housewife duties

And yes, I think I owe some explanations to everyone I wrote my earlier post (What’s up with you???? Seriously.) for. To make my stand clear, let me just say, it’s the two of us now to spoil you/your kids

Cheers and good night !!

That’s Mr Wolafinder S. Pawera (also known as Wolfgang R. Maehr) who was rechristened recently. Was playing around with some pseudo settings in the photo editor. As you can see, I also gave the blog a new theme , so thought I’d make a test post to check if everything was in working order.

Btw, this also happens to be the first photo on this blog taken with my new DSLR (wishing it was a Leica … but well ..)

Will probably post more photos soon. (I hope). Cheers!

I’m happy for you guys. I hope the best for all of you. It doesn’t leave me in a very comfortable position though.

You’re all moving ahead with your lives the way you want (I hope). You’re getting settled and becoming responsible. I wouldn’t hope you don’t. Doesn’t really matter what I hope. But, it’s making me very restless. It’s making me desperate. Desperate not to go the same way (oh no, not at all), but to spend more time with all of you. Hang out with you before you “settle down”. To trawl around the town with you, doing the crazy things that we’ve always done. To make you indulge in more embarrassing and stupid stuff that I’ll tell your wives/husbands/kids about very soon

I know, for most of you this is a very special and important time in your lives. For some it’s been awaited, for some delayed ( ). Some have been avoiding it, some have been planning for it. It’s here now anyways

So as I was having a conversation with GOD (yes, the one from the role playing game )..

ME: Seriously? Are you sure?
HIM: Yeah man, I’m doing it. Like they say … “it’s not an end, but the beginning of the greatest adventure of your life.. ”
ME: CRAP! Stop throwing cheesy lines from stupid movies at me …
HIM: You’ve seen MAMMA MIA !!!!???
ME: hmmm ….

HIM: I’m so excited man!!
ME: Yeah, I bet. I can’t digest my food anymore though …
ME: So this is it for you eh?
HIM: What do you mean “this is it”??
ME: You know, no more “thick chick, thick chick”. No more “apaan keda veyaah karvauna ede naal” (“I’m not gonna marry her!”) …
HIM: Hmmm … well …
HIM: You’ll know when you get to this point.
ME: Right!

Anyways, I hope you guys have a great time with the ones you’ve chosen to spend this time with I hope I still get to spend some “quality” time with you I hope I’m still welcome at your place. For breakfasts/lunches/dinners especially I promise I won’t spoil your kids too much.

I’m always there for you my friends. I wish you the very best. I hope I’ll be able to join you in the celebrations. If I can’t, you know I’ll be celebrating for you wherever I am

Love you all

Fed up because I can’t figure out my own interests.

Fed up because I can’t finish anything to the end.

Fed up because satisfaction doesn’t come easy.

Fed up because I can’t stay at one place.

Fed up because I can’t stay interested.

Fed up because I expect too much.

Fed up because it all comes back again.

Fed up because I can’t stay focussed.

Fed up because I can’t tolerate.

Fed up because I can’t achieve an end.

Fed up because I don’t believe in “I can’t”.

I’m finally feeling a bit settled here in Oslo, the cold-unpredictable-a bit tasteless-but fun anyways Oslo. It’s been getting cold, and warm again, and rainy and sunny and gray. Annoying really, and it’s been getting me down with the “season change” cold. Been down with a running nose for 2 weeks out of the 7 that I’ve spent here so far. Nothing much to worry though. I’m used to it.

Really loving the cosy apartment (that by the way, we trashed a few weeks back – http://www.flickr.com/photos/navjotpawera/sets/72157607544589237/). It’s awesomely cozy and comfy when needed, and a great party place when … well every weekend I’d say Kat and I are having a great time. We’ve been through 3 seasons of “Coupling” (twice I think), around a dozen movies and almost all genres of music one can think of. Lissy has been giving me cooking lessons and I’m supposed to know how to cook some sort of salmon, butter chicken, chicken do piaza, dal makhani and pasta. Although if I know myself well enough, I wouldn’t go for dinner If I invited myself.

I’ve been taking Norwegian classes and being as dedicated as I usually am, I’ve been able to achieve 50% attendance so far. Going pretty good I’d say, especially as the motivation is to communicate with people who don’t really like to communicate.

Oh yes, the REM concert was GREAT . Russell Peters was OK. Hiking out to the random mountain and barbecuing sausages in the middle of nowhere out was also good. Shopping at IKEA wasn’t.

I miss friends from home some days. Terribly. Would love to have all of you here I plan to be home soon. By soon I mean, it depends on when Mr. Kalkat plans to get married – might be February, or April. I do have a few trips planned before that. Germany, Austria and Switzerland with Wolf next month. Ukraine in November for 10 days. Hopefully, I’ll make it to the US to spend the Christmas with my awesomely cute angels – Khushi and Ishi – who’re growing up without me. Also, might be able to sneak away to Egypt for a week sometime before that. Hopefully. And yes, I screwed up a planned trip to Stockholm, for the third time. It’s jinxed ofcourse.

Anyways, it’s gonna be fun here. I hope

This also means that I won’t be working as a Web Evangelist anymore. I loved Evangelising, meeting new people, traveling around – this is going to change. My new job will have more office based responsibilities. I’ll need to get into a 9am-5pm routine. At the same time though, I think it’s a really good professional next step for me I’ll be responsible for some of the main products of the company. That is a lot of responsibility.

On the personal front though, I thought I was getting close to being a “responsible guy”. I’m not. Not at all. I don’t know if or when I’ll ever be one. The lure of breaking out, being “not responsible” is too much. But more than that, much greater than that is the fear of being “responsible” itself. I’m not sure how good or bad this is, but I know my life isn’t going to go otherwise at least for now. I definitely know this hasn’t left everyone around me very pleased with me, but I just have my tail between my legs when it comes to being that “responsible guy”. Maybe moving to Oslo will let me think more into this, or it might help me grow out of this, or even make me realise what I really want – but I guess thats the only option I have for now.

So I’ve spent quite some time in Oslo already – I was there for almost 3 months last year, and spent this May & June there as well. It’s quite a decent place (although I haven’t witnessed the winters yet – which they say are NASTY). I’m sure there’s gonna be plenty to keep me busy in Oslo. Snow boarding, sailing, traveling around Europe etc etc etc. I am looking forward to all that, but right now I am going through a phase where I’m thinking more about the things I’m going to miss. Especially Bangalore, I was enjoying my time here more than ever. It’s not so easy to say good byes, but I wanna meet as many of my friends as I can before I leave.

My schedule looks like:

Now – 17th July = Bangalore
18th July – 19th July = Delhi
19th July – 23rd July = Chd
24th July – 29th July = Thailand (woohooo !! )
30th July – 1st August = Chd
1st August = Fly to Oslo

So if we can meet up somehow, do let me know. I don’t have a working phone these days so emailing me (preferably a bit in advance) is the best way to get in touch.

Light you a fire,
sit around for a while
Tell you a tale into the night,
get you through with a smile

Let me take your thoughts,
on a stroll in my mind
Walk them down the cobbled lane,
to the three rings around number nine

I’ll take your early morning dreams,
give you some crazy silent screams
Get you higher than you’ve ever seen the sky,
Drop you down the devils bloody streams

Build a red brick wall,
that whispers when you walk through
Listen to its cries,
the tales it says are all but true

When the sacred red water,
will touch your beautiful feet
When the smiling white faced entertainer,
will be prepared for you to meet

You’ll see the sun lying down on the sand,
and the white haired mans tricks will be all planned
They’ll all dress up and light up and put up a grand masters show,
Look around for the witch with the coloured beads and listen to her dark black crow

When you get to the top,
and close your eyes,
You’ll see the path grow,
beyond the starry skies

If you climb through the fog,
and reach the garden with flowers unknown
You’ll come back and tell me your story,
of where the madness is carefully grown

We’ll light another fire,
and roll another dream
I’ll smile and listen this time,
to your crazy silent scream.

Pumping the devils poison,
in an uncontrolled parade
waiting for the night to end,
to see the suns shinning face

All walk towards the silent hymn,
where the song of the unknown plays
to fall when the time comes,
when the path beneath you fades

Open your eyes to see the stars,
to see where you can fly
above the trees of the unwanted growth,
to let out that holy cry

If you don’t desire the day,
you’ll never want the night to die
if you’re not ready for the madness,
there’s no need to cry

Unless the steps are taken,
until the doors are walked through
you’ll never taste the sacred fruit,
that’s been hanging there for you

“To be a poet, to be an artist means more than writing or painting or singing; it means having a vision and the courage to see that vision through, despite any opposition. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and if you have what it takes, you are rare and wondrous, and if you don’t, it can’t be faked.”

- “No one here gets out alive” (Danny Sugerman)

Now I’ll go and sketch some ….

So, granted, we’re stepping into the responsible age (at least, traditionally so) and some of my friends have started talking about “responsible” things as well. Some have mentioned .. ahem … “tying the knot”. Some seem excited, some confused. Some are trying to gather courage to start planning, some still looking for excuses not to think about it. Some have accepted – “this is the right age to start planning” and some are still trying to figure out if they can imagine themselves going back home at 8 every night .Well, some have even accepted – “I’m never gonna get married”. Whatever the case may be – it did get me thinking last night. The first thing that came to my mind was a video clip I saw recently (It might be boring to a few, but if you like scrubs – you might just appreciate the guys creativity):

Well, everything seems good. It even seems fun. I’m actually wondering how many would actually try something like this? SURPRISE !!! To think of it, there’s a fair amount of risk involved, it takes guts and you can never be sure. Maybe it’s comes as just too big a surprise. Maybe you’ve just been thinking way too fast. Maybe you’ve just been catching signals at a wrong frequency. Maybe you aren’t original enough. Maybe you’re just plain stupid to even think of something like this. Whatever the case maybe (or not, if you’re fortunate) I would like to take this opportunity and volunteer my services to get the “historical” moment recorded. (so I can show it to your kids over and over again … uh wait … that depends … if you have kids or not I mean … ). So, if you’re planning something like this – I am at your service Just let me know and I’ll be there, all prepared with a video camera

Whatever it turns out to be for you – I just hope you do better than this guy :

Just haven’t had the time to write anything lately – mostly because I’ve been so damn busy (excuse) (if you don’t like me, you can go scr** yourself).

So, check out my pics at flickr then .. c ya !

(ONLY if I like you that is … muahahahahahaha !!!!)

Well, I didn’t want this post to be just an update, so I waited to really want to write something. Now I really want to write, but the best I can think of … are, updates. I thought I won’t write about her until I met met her, held her in my hands, but I can’t keep it and I think it would be fair to atleast let you people know. Those who remember the eagerly awaited member of the Lehal family – http://www.djnavv.com/2006/11/30/well-whos-coming/, she’s finally here . Ishneet Kaur Lehal is here !

….. can’t wait to see you baby !!!

And, me well … I’ve been around …

• 25th April – 29th April: Delhi-Goa-Delhi (my first visit to Goa …. well … I’m going back … again… and again…. and again … and again … AND AGAIN !!!!!! FUN NUMERO UNO !!! CHILLOUT ! )
• 5th May – 7th May: Delhi-Mumbai-Chennai-Delhi (mania of missed & delayed flights … booked 5 flights to get from Delhi to Chennai, flew on 3 !)
• 11th May – 14th May: Chd-Hrishikesh-Chd ( Road trip from Chd-Hrishikesh .. on bikes B-), 3 days of white water rafting, cliff jumping and trekking … ooo haaa !!!)
• 8th June – 11th June: Chd-Simla-Sangla-Rekong Pio-Rajo-Simla-Chd (one KICKASS trip, this one … was much needed !!!)
• 2nd June – 4th June: Chd-Dharamsala-Chd (never knew I could withstand ( ) so much shopping !)
• 22nd June – 24th June: Chd-Delhi-Mumbai-Delhi-Chd (finally, I’m a witness to the “mumbai rains” ! )

Another update, I’m leaving for Oslo, Norway (it still does depend on me getting a Visa) for work. The “costliest city in the world” … wooohaaaa !!! well, lets see then ….

Piyush – the “bitch guy” – he’s off to New York. For an year. On an internship. So you all know what he’s gonna be up to. I really don’t have the heart to write about it all. I hope he keeps updating us (on second thoughts, maybe it’s better if he doesn’t).

See you there bro

Him: Don’t you find it kinda ironical …
Me: Huh ?
Him: You want randomness, craziness … and look for stability in that ?
Me: Hmmmm .. yea … kinda ..
Him: Where is this going man ?
Me: I guess we’re too unpredictable for our own selves …

Me: Had you been a girl, you’d been my girlfriend and I would have dumped you long ago.
Him: wtf …

I’ve been out for quite some time, and I actually realized this in the bus about an hour back:

16th March – (Chd-Delhi-Mumbai-Daman ) – 17th March
19th March – (Daman-Mumbai-Delhi-Chd) – 20th March
23rd March – (Chd-Delhi-Mumbai) – 24th March
27th March – (Mumbai-Delhi-Chd) – 28th March
29th March – (Chd-Delhi-Bangalore) – 30th March
2nd April – (Bangalore-Delhi-Chd) – 3rd April

I’ve been out, but right now I feel like running away. I’ve been trying. Won’t mind if someone pulls me along this time. I need some time. Time doesn’t feel constant any more – it’s more sporadic. It comes to me in the bus, or on the plane. Or maybe, on my bike on the way to the office in the morning. It’s not because I’ve been travelling that I am complaining about time. It’s got more to do with where I see myself standing. I think I am at crossroads again.

The problem this time is, I can’t see clearly either way. I’m waiting for the fog to settle down, but I see it’s taking it’s own sweet time. I can’t make out what options I have to choose from. I don’t even know what is it that I might want to look forward to. I realise, I need some clarity in my mind to see through the fog outside. I think I might be feeling too weak. Or maybe, it’s just too much noise inside, that’s making me tired.

One thing, and I don’t know how it could be relevant at this juncture: I’m happy that I’ve managed to keep some people close to me after all these years, and I want to let you guys know that I’ll be holding on. I’ve realised, maybe after being reckless, that I need you guys and I’m willing to give in more to keep you close.

I don’t think this is the end of the post, but I need to gather my thoughts right now.

yes once I had a strange love,
a pure but very pained love,
a love that burned like fire through a field

Oh once I had a strange love,
a childlike but derranged love,
a love that if were bottled it would kill.

See once I had a strange love,
a secret and untamed love,
a love that took no prisoners at all

And once I had a strange love
a psychic unexplained love,
a love that challenged scientific facts

And then there was that strange love,
that very badly trained love,
a love that needed discipline and facts

Once I had a strange love
a public acclaimed love,
the kind of love that’s seen in magazines.

And once I had a strange love,
a beautiful but vained love,
a love I think it’s better left in dreams

And once I had a strange love,
a morally inflamed love,
we’d go on holy battles in the nights

And then there was that strange love
that vulgar and profane love,
the kind of love that we don’t talk about

Yes, once I had a strange love,
a lying infidel love,
who wove in stories like Sherazade

And once I had a strange love,
a flaky white kinky love,
we ran so fast we almost spilled our guts..

You see i’ve had some strange love,
some good, some bad, some plain love,
some so-so love, and c’est la vie…

but just let me proclaim that, out of all the strange love you’re the strangest love I’ve ever known….

“Strange Love”, by Little Annie Bandez.

“was it really so long ago
we were taking photographs
of each other in our winter pagent clothes…
skipping school or going home
running for shelter
from a sudden thunderstorm
kissing raindrops on your nose…

what part did i play
in making you
the way
you are?

what more can i say
to convince you
it didn’t have to go so far?

in way out where i live
a universe away now
i’ll probably never see you again
and i wanna know where you went…
where did you go?
what did you see?
do you ever think of me?
i’m colorful now
and all that time we spent…

what part did i play
in making you
the way
you are?

what more can i say
to convince you
it didn’t have to go so far?

it didn’t have to go so far
it didn’t have…
it didn’t have to go so far
it didn’t have to go so far
didn’t have to go so far, no…
didn’t have to go so far

what part did i play?
what more can i say?”

This year feels special, I have no idea why. I turned 24, nothing feels different about that though – I still dont feel like I’m “growing up”. I do feel like I’m “progressing”, towards what – I have no clue still. The guitar plays a bit better, I can remember lyrics to more songs, I feel more responsible for all the mess that I create ( ), addictions are getting easier to recognize, obsessions are getting prettier and more desirable, have more to be crazy for. Nothing new with that though. Still depressed about being in Chandigarh, I’m still regarded as a “responsible” person by friends, I guess I still write stuff that many people regard as “noise out of his mind”. Thats me, and I guess I should leave it at that. These probably will not change. And I guess I still have plenty of time to “change”. So lets see.

I was in Mumbai for the new year, and on the way I had written something :

“Sitting yet again at the Delhi airport, waiting for an early morning flight. “So far away” by Staind bubbled up in the shuffled playlist, threw back memories of forgotten times and added to the chaos recently stirred up by too much free time, too much thinking and the winter cold. On the one hand, these memories make me sad – thinking about the friends who are not the same anymore. On the happier side, it does bring a certain warmth – reminding me that these are dreams I’ll never lose.

The good – or bad, is that we all move on. So did the playlist – “scars are souveniers you never lose, past is neveR far”.

A week with friends, will greet the new year together. Hope it brings great and better memories as always

Happy New Year to me, and all of you “

The week in Mumbai was amazing, feel even more pathetic to be in Chandigarh now. Khushi is now in America with Mandy. (Miss you baby)

These days, I’m happy and glad. Been thinking too much lately, was listening to a lot of reggae. Now listening to Dido and “Jive Bunny” by Glenn Miller ( :* )

(brackets tell the partners in crime)
Three weeks out of the city ..
Three cities ..
Three awesome conferences ..
More than 24 hours waiting at the airports for delayed flights (air deccan .. booooooooo) ..
A week in the Bangalore (the city I love) ..
A blurry recollection of crazy party nights (Sparks, 13th Floor, Fuga, Taika, The Beach, Climax) ..
Pub hopping on fresh lime soda (Legends of Rock, Ruby Tuesday, TGIF, Geoffreys, Purple Haze, Firangi Paani .. am I missing out some ?) ..
Heartbreaking revelations … damn ….
Completed 6 months at Opera .. .. permanent employee .. !
Our after party anthem .. la la pum pum …
And the remix by Chaals .. la la pum pum … pum ….

ps – and a bad heartbreak … sob … air supply – play on …..

pps – MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!

Take care bhabi

I’ve been told more than once, and by more than one, that I am too much of a perfectionist. So much that I bore myself out of things. I start writing a novel and can’t go past the first chapter because I want every following chapter to be as good as the first one. Start writing a song, the first paragraph is all I have even after pages of lines.

When I was explaining to a friend that how, after some time, all relationships start turning into more of a morning-routine at a scout camp, I realized what I’m talking about here. All my relationships (more or less) have ended because I am too much of a perfectionist. Everything starts well, and I enjoy it. Then I get to know the other person too well and realize that they are humans, they have been moulded out of the same “defect-infected” grains as everyone else. And this is where I snap. Not tolerating “mistakes” in others is quite human I think. But in my case, not tolerating mistakes, without realizing why I termed them as “defects” is where I become quite the unique perfectionist. I take my excuses out of things I can’t explain.

But then again, if these work for her, then I have found the real excuse – why should I be with someone who can’t realise what dumb excuses I make. If these excuses don’t work for her, too bad – she could be in love.

Last few weeks have been pretty busy for the Pawera family. We finally decided that we wanted to move to our new house, and hence majority of the time was spent packing stuff – unpacking stuff – shopping – setting up the new place. Now its been almost 3 weeks that we’ve been sleeping in the new house, but I still need some time to get cozy with the place.

It actually feels wierd to not share the room with my brother anymore. I’m missing the randomness he used to lend. Now his room is the place that I head for when I’m getting bored. Seems all the action in the house is in his room. It’s always noisy and untidy … has RAMAN written all over it. Love him .

And my room :D … . quite spacious, like the access to the balcony … and the (rare) open view. The house still needs a lot of time. The living room is still almost naked, so are most of the walls of the house.

So if anyone of you is planning to bunk at my place, do give me a call, I dont park at the same place anymore . Here’s a view of my room

So, today is the new “happy to you” of the website
Got some jazz going there

Although the oxygen mask wasn’t that exciting, the precedings did make up for quite an eventful evening. We decided to celebrate Hari joining the Opera team here in Chd and thus headed out to the “Oriental Lounge” for drinks and dinner. We ordered the regular stuff, maybe the exception being some prawns that I requested. The meal was quite enjoyable and left all of us with a good taste, satisfied appetites and me, with a swollen inner cheek. I couldn’t make out what had happened, but suspected that I had an allergic reaction, or just bit my cheek. I’d guess it took me around 15 minutes to get home, and by the time I changed, my stomach felt like the food inside had expanded. In another 5 minutes I felt my lungs press against my chest. I was obviously quite uncomfortable and thus took an anti-allergic .. .just in case. Mom and dad left for a walk, and I thought I’d hit the bed.

The next 30 minutes were “quite an experience” … I almost choked, couldn’t breathe through my nose, I could feel my lungs, my windpipe and my stomach … all fighting for more area inside me. I felt like I was in a collapsing submarine, deep down in the ocean. Thats all I can remember thinking behind those watering eyes and a swollen face. I don’t know how long it exactly was, but felt like it took me almost 10 minutes to walk the 5 steps to my toilet. Then I felt myself suddenly being soaked out of energy, my legs started shivering and I was gasping for air so loud and fast that it was confusing me even more. I stood like that in front of the sink for a very long time. Had lost track of time completely. Mom and dad came back, I tried to take control so as to not make them panic, but failed .. and we rushed to the emergency.

As it turned out, it was an allergic reaction which triggered an asthamatic attack. After two shots of some anti-allergics, and 15 minutes on the oxygen mask … I felt much better.

It took me 15 minutes to go from “fine”-to-”so much internal chaos that I didn’t know if I was even capable of thinking”. Then 15 minutes and an anti-allergic tablet, two anti-allergic shots, nebulized oxygen and the energy from the ones who were there for me at that moment – mom, dad, a friend and my crazy brother , to get back to “fine” again.

Now I’m home, the doctors said, it was a chance attack. Allergies can’t be diagnosed before hand. So I guess I’m fine now, and will stay the same

I guess the “heavy dose” is now getting to me … or is it keeping me awake even now ?
Anyways, it was an experience I’d hate anyone to have. More so, it really scares me to think of what mom and dad must have gone through seeing me in such a condition. And I did feel helpless and craving for help.

I’m glad to be in the company of people who really care, and thankful that they’re here with me.

Sometimes you get bored of how things are working and the monotony of things going right ….. and you facilitate a change. You might have reasons to justify the change, but it gets to you when it cracks the mould of your comfortable lifestyle.
So then you revert back. According to me, everyone goes through this cycle every 6-7 months. And it is necessary, not so much to change yourself, but more so to identify your comfortable zone, for a reassurance for yourself, and to get some energy back.

I realised that I’ve been indulging in too much of work, work-after-work-hours.

So I’ve realised and decided … now I need to get back to some more “productive” hobbies. Getting the cameras out of the rack, getting the travelling shoes out. The “Mack” returns … ( lol, hhklp, rotf, lmao !!!!!! )

Another thing I realised was, when I’m doing some interesting stuff, I write more on this blog (contrary to what a friend said recently)

Me waiting for my next post and your critique

For those who didn’t get it:
1. excuse – for not posting for such a long time
2. shakabuku – a swift spiritual kick to the head that alters reality forever
3. thats it

So please criticize, give feedback, test in various browsers …
caveat – do not open in IE *yet*

This is just the template, put together over an evening … lots of work to be done yet.

And for those who know her highness, Ms Khushi Lehal (my neice, my sweetheart) …

Darts, softball-table-tenis-across-desks, softball-wars-across-desks, softball-soccer-across-desks … thats our routine .. and I might take this oppurtunity to introduce our beloved softball to you (red )

Surprisingly, I have realised that this city does provide you with options for your free time. I’ve started Dj’ing at silk-lounge, joined the gym, planning to join archery classes, drives to the hills are becoming more frequent – probably going to dharamsala over the weekend again B-)

And how can I miss the bike in this post …
Completed 700 km in around 30 days
First service done
Love the riding position
Have started revving it a bit … seems that its got a lot to offer in that area
Feels comfortable,feels fast, not so heavy – so zips even in the higher gears.
In case you missed my previous post … its black (not red )

Have uploaded pics from the trip at – www.djnavv.com/dharamsala/

After around 5 hours of an amazing drive, we reached Dharamsala, it was dissapointing. A crowded city, was definitely not what I wanted to “escape” to. So we decided to drive further on … to McLeodganj. The drive up to McLeodganj was even better. At McLeo (thats how its locally known as) we had lost around 80% of the “city” crowd. It was crowded alright … but tourists mostly and Tibetans. This is where the Dalai Lama monastry is. When decided to go even further, and lose this crowd as well. It was a “narrow” drive to Dharamkot. But thats the place you wanna be. Its mostly Israeli community there, with amazingly cheap hotels and amazing food.

Its a place like no other. Amazing place to stay. Amazing people. Amazing food. Amazing places to eat at !!

For those, who might wanna travel to Dharamkot … here’s my 2 cents:

Chandigarh
Mohali
Ropar
Kiratpur
Anandpur Sahib
Nangal
Metspur
Una
Amb
Mubarakpur
Chintpurni
Dehra
Ranital
Kangra
Dharamsala
McLeodganj
Dharamkot

Its a total of around 250Km, takes around 6 hours of casual driving – with stopages for eating et all.

At Dharamkot, we put up at Gagan Resorts, the room was for 600/night.
You can also get cottages at Dev Resorts for around 1500/night.
At BlueHeaven, the rooms are even cheaper … but weren’t available when we reached.

To eat check out:
Trek ‘n Dine (Dharamkot)
Friendly Planet (Dharamkot)
View ‘n Chew (Bhagsur)
Moonpeak Cafe (McLeo – especially for breakfast)
.. loads of other places .. but dont miss these

Will be waiting for other places you guys suggest …

I’d say this is not exactly a place if you wanna go out and “do something”
Its more of a place for those .. who like to do “nothing” … absolute chill out.

And for those who havent heard the latest … here’s a sneak

This one is called “homework”, or “off1.0″ .. or “the-me” … dunno yet

Ready again this side, for your comments, critique or whatever it is u have to say.

Updates soon …

Ok … so … lets see … well … you know … I … graduated … … … !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As we always said … we would get our degrees … “all rolled up”

Harpriya … she got engaged …. bravo !

You’ll no longer find me in the CueBlocks office …

……

So, well … I’ve been … sleeping mostly …

or sitting in front of the pc …

or doing totally *random* stuff ….

Will take me some time to get back to normality … back to the groove … back to the wheel … be back soon … .. I hope .. .. BOOYAKASHA !
btw, anyone missing me yet ???????

Its the end that makes you want to start again. I’m not saying its the end that makes it all memorable, but its the end that makes you want to live it all again. Is it because we are afraid we might never enjoy life that much again? Are we afraid that life might not be as fun ever again? Why do we want to hold on to the past?

Why not be refreshed, even more enthusiastic and look forward to what all life has in store?
And “end” should be a search for a new beginning. Why should it be the want to live what you have already lived? Why not something new ?

What am I trying to get at? Well… end a party looking forward to another one… and let that one be an even bigger “bang”.

ps, guys … seriously need a party !! look at what i’m doing these days …!

Anyways, spending the last week at home, I now have this urge to move to the new office hoping things would be much more organised than the recent past.

In the meantime, I did experiment with my new camera (only in between work … small breaks )

I made this new ID that I would use at deviantart …a very raw look, kinda homely feel.

So what do u guys think ?

• utterly low self confidence
• absolutely no ability to make choices (can’t decide between writing slapstick or quirky )
• frantic search for alternatives to EVERYTHING (something else to listen to, something else to write about, something else to DO!)
• no realisation of wastage of time (well … its 2:25am .. for gods sake !!)
• desperation … pure, wild, insane desperation to get something done.

Ok, so now … I tried doing these:

• Look at sources of inspiration (websites in this case)
• Do stuff to make me feel good (search google for “navjotpawera”, and felt happy at the 10 results it showed)
• Tried to sleep (cant manage to fall asleep)

But nothing worked, so I went out, took my camera along, and clicked some pics …

(wallpaper version)
I think these turned out pretty neat … was impressed with the camera myself .

Now this did not give me any ideas .. I’m still stuck with the blank sheet … but I think I can go to sleep now .. its 2:54am now … I better try

So I bought the Sony DSC H1, my “nu” lens last week on the 3rd.

Drumrolls please

Have been shutter crazy for a week now, and getting some good reviews as well
Am personally quite satisfied with the pic quality.

Now I’ve got a MEGA 12x OPTICAL zoom in my hands
Its a 5.1 megapixel and runs on 2 AA batteries (charger and rechargeable batteries included in the package)

And, it can also do this:

he he

(you may call me for some “news” though )

What say, another croissant someday ?

The place where I have dinner more than home. Just love the food !
Went their with my “nu” Sony DSC H1 and clicked some ..

<< how many have noticed this guy ?

My recommendations at the place:

1. Chicken Fajitas (which I dont eat anymore, since I turned vegetarian)
2. Polo Loco (which I dont eat anymore, since I turned vegetarian)
3. Keema Naan (which I dont eat anymore, since I turned vegetarian)
4. Paneer Naan
5. Paneer Makhani

More favourites or recommendations anyone ?

This is what I had been working on .. and this is what kept me busy. Too tired right now to write anything, but just wanted to get this theme done .. and beleive me .. this time, I met my deadlines !!!!

I call this theme “Version 1point0″ ..

and its still in Beta (so wanted to say that B-))

Feedback, criticism all will be accepted, but only compliments will be appreciated

Now for some this shot may come from getting up in the moning and brushing up, while pondering over some subconsious notes… or … just before crashing to bed after being totally knocked out by the vodka with friends on a saturday evening … or … just being irritated by what your gf thinks of the shinky pink shoes …. lol

But for some …
well they keep on waiting … and waiting … and waiting …. untill they realise they need a FRESH reason and a FRESH thought and a FRESH BLOG ….

This one is to “interdoos” piyush … his second attempt … his new fresh idea ..

http://theaplayer.blogspot.com/ 

Bro … lets keep it alive this time … or are we gunning for the booker prize
and Aman … lets list down “all” of your blogs as well … I dont know which one to find you at …. multiple personality disorder was still tolerable man …. multiple blog disorder … !!!

Flowers, chocolates and iPods will do too …

Kidding, its just been a real, what I would like to call, a liveable day
Bartender …. repeat that one … another round of the craziness please !!!
After a long time, spent the noon with an old friend, gulping pizzas and criticising future plans , laughing out loud and making fun of each other ….

After a long time, spent the evening going crazy with friends and driving around like a freak … to some extent ….

Apologies to Rahul … and Gaggu
Feeling better to get some randomness and insanity back …

But to keep this special … I need to get out of here now …
I need to move on … really guys … i’m done here …. see you tomorrow

Is the way you live your life a cue to what you plan for your future, or is it a shadow of your past. In most likelyhood, I feel the latter would hold true.

If you could control your past, it could prove to be pivotal to how your future shapes up. But if you’re getting what I’m trying to say, it is very much not the case. You truly can’t control your past. As straightforward as it may sound, it does hold a key logic to it. How you plan your future is not as simple as assessing your needs and making plans. It invariably bears a stamp of your past. You have a future, which is yet to come. You can plan it. But once it becomes your past. You can’t change it. Never. Nothing can change it.

Live your present knowing that it will be your past very soon. Nothing can change it once its gone. Dont be afraid of your future. Be very afraid of what you make your past. When you leave this world, you wont have any future. All you would have right then, would be your past. All you leave behind is your past. Live to the max. Live a good life. Live a life. Live.

Live with the ones you care for. Live with the ones who care about you. Live for yourself. Live to help others live. Live to succeed. Live to love. Live to give. Live to make memories. Dream like you got a hundred years to live. True. But live today as if its the last day you’ll ever live.

p.s. its 12:07am, I’m sleepin at Sarthak’s place, there’s an “unfinished” bottle of Finlandia in his bar. This is a disclaimer.

For those who dont know who dis djRULZ DA MAN is … lemme go into flashback.

July, 2004.
I land in Bangalore to start with my 6 month industrial internship for my B.Tech course. No plans to go ahead with an “industrial” internship though … I join Scartch DJ school.
Met Rulz here, became friends … and still are. (woohoo!!!)
The next 6 months … its all turntables and saturday nights
I remember putting some pics online at 2player.blogspot.com, yeah… somewhere there I think.

November, 2004.
I leave back for the city beautiful, not knowing when I’m meeting these friends again. Ruz had not been to chandigarh even once till now.

December, 2005.
I meet Rulz in Delhi, where he’s performing at Tapas. Next morning, we’re on our way to Chandigarh ! His first night in the city, and we take him to Chandigarh > Panchkula > Kasauli. Doing three cities, in one night, on the road .. is a first for him !
Crossing a city from one end to the other in 15 minutes is another first for him !

February, 2006.
His second trip to Chandigarh. He stayed for 10 days, played in Silk Lounge, Athena !
He’s going BIG

Waiting for you to come back bro !

ps – his website is still under construction … only reason its been delayed is .. coz yours truly here, djnavv, is incharge
Its coming man Rulz, it coming

Tanay landed in the city on saturday. And here’s how we spent the weekend:

• Saturday: Dikshits engagement (thats another shocker … its too emotional for me to even write about it)
• Sunday: Euphoria live in concert
• Monday: night trip to Kasauli
• Tuesday: barbeque chicken for dinner, late night coffee at barista .. long talks…
• Wednesday: visiting friends places

So, when dad asked me about the missing wheel cups on the front wheels of the car after the night trip, I didnt have any answer. It was actually … of all the things … nostalgic.

Missing those trips to the hills, missing the bikes, missing the car, missing all and everyone.

Its actually true, “When you miss your buddies, the days go fine, its the evenings that get to you”

you’ve been the shelter, you’ve been the getaway
more than often, you’ve been the warm hug that I need when things go wrong
more than often, you’ve been the trust that makes the difference between life and death
you’ve been the perfect companian to two friends
you’ve been …. no less than a friend …
and never once, NEVER EVEN ONCE ! did u give up !
for me you define what Zen is all about …

Those guys are really good. Just posting some pics and a clip (via my n6630, very low quality) from the concert.

Get the Video Clip here (plays in quicktime)

Picture this.You’re 2500 kms away from home. You’re 22. You’re busy in the office, scandalized over multi-dimensional excel sheet. You’re experiencing short sightedness as well as far sightedness at the same time. Your phone rings, and an old friend whose been the subject of more than a billion heartburns calls and tells you she’s getting married. She asks you for one last time to consider a future together. WTF !!

What are you supposed to say ?
Me coming home to be with you forever and ever and ever ?
Its the ideal “I’ll be sick for a week and I need that more than I deserve it” case here.

Life goes on my friend. And it will take a U-turn to come back and hit you once again. Everytime.

Casually wading through my wordpress admin area looking for user level options, I noticed the “import” tab on the top menu. Next, I see options to import my posts AND comments from blogger, textpattern, movable type or EVEN AN RSS FEED !!!!!!!!!!!!

Next:

• I click on Blogger
• Asks for my username/pass for blogger account. I fill up. Enter
• Presents with my blogs under my blogger account, and I click on the one I want to import.
• In less than 60 SECONDS !!!!, all my entries and posts are now archived in this blog as regular posts/comments.
• THATS IT !

Now thats WOW Web Portability !

No glitches anywhere, all data seamlessly imported and working like magic !
Not on this wordpress blog, not on my blogger blog (2player.blogspot.com)
Think of the possibilities.
Now I have a backup of all the data on my blogger blog !
I can merge any number of blogs here under one blog !

This is how you win loyalty ! Go wordpress GO !!!

When I downloaded FireFox 1.5 , I was surprised to see the increased system resources that FF was eating up, not to mention the untimely crashes and also wierd rendering of css on a few sites. But just like an ardent fan would, I gave it time and waited for the next update.

Well, the css is still not rendering any better.
The system resources are still being gulped, no crashes so far though.
And BOLLOCKS, my favourite extension AARDVARK has been disabled !

Right now I’ve got FireFox 1.5.0.1, Opera 8.5 and Internet Explorer 6.0.2900.2096 on my system.
IE is there just for testing purposes, but I’m beginning to like Opera the more I use it.

Things I like about Opera:

1. Integrated feed reader
2. Doesnt take up too much of system resources
3. Hasn’t crashed on me yet
4. Love the UI elements
5. Tabbed browsing
6. Integrated download manager
7. The Notes feature (truly amazing)
8. Overall usability is very convenient

I wouldnt say the integrated Mail Client really lures me. I feel thats better kept as a seperate appplication.
But the features that make me LOVE FireFox are:

1. Latest standard support (especially for css), so the sites show up exactly the way they are meant to be. Just like this WordPress 2.0 DHTML menu on the right.
   
2. Extensions such as Aardvark, WebDeveloper Toolbar and ColorZilla make developing sites a pleasure !
3. I’m not going to even start with tabbed browsing etc etc etc…

To me these features of FireFox are irreplaceable. The only thing on my FireFox plugin wishlist would be a Pop-Up reminder for the Sage plugin to announce new feeds.

Right now, I guess FireFox would remain my primary browser.This may sound totally biased, but the fact remains that you go online to browse websites. If you cant see them the way they are meant to be seen, it defeats the whole purpose. Only if Opera could go ahead and extend its support for the latest standards, or maybe if Opera becomes more popular and people start making sites keeping in mind the standards support by Opera

Feel like …. hills … green gardens … hammocks in the shade … sipping on orange juice …

Sit in front of the pc trying to work, when you know you dont wanna work.

I want to tweak the wordpress and get it work for me the way I want to. Want to give it a new theme of my own. Granted, this takes time.But mostly in my case, they end up as excuses for my procastinating self to vegitate for longer.

Bought a new phone yesterday. Nokia 6630. Feeling good (partially ‘coz of spending, and partially ‘coz of the phone )

Will start abusing it soon. Evidence will be up here soon.

( wrote it sometime last year …. march / april .. found it scribbled somewhere and editted it a bit )

i smile while looking away
and turn my gaze to the ground
its still way too cold
without the love i once found

but i gotta move on, just the way i once did
this is a choice, just the way i chose
go on through with life left behind
hands trembling after killing a beautiful rose

i will lie down again
before i sit before you
give in myself this time
to your soul so true

the wait is long as you know
i cant kill the time if i wanted to
i made a choice in this life
if i die it wont be enough to get to you

i can only think, cant feel
i can only wish it was not real
one will changed it all, the way it stands before me
its blowing the wind again, its getting hard to see

i pray now, like a beleiver turned athiest
it swings too high for me to reach
i left you for a life i still just see
you left me for a life too far for me to be

infact kinda sucks ….
tiesto gud tracks …
delerium
close to you
flight 643 ( just coz of some old memories )
..WHA ??? THATS IT ???
i’m glad though ……. lol

This brings to mind immortality, a topic that has become immortal itself. One which has to be ironically, mortalized to make sense of the whole underlying principle itself.
Since the time principles and justifications and theorems have existed, we have tried and successfully tried to give everything an age. Anything that comes across as an ongoing process has been forever and ever, given a lifetime. Every living organism has an age, after which, in scientific terms, it dies. The stars have been given lifetimes, the whole universe has been given a lifetime. Perpetual motion is time bound. It has been justified so. We try to rationalise our quest for an “ageless” life by saying that technology, which is mortal in itself, will one day take us to a point, where we would not need to have a lifetime. Our lives would start, but not end. One cell would give birth to another, the other to another, and hence a man would be born who would grow old but not die. His cells, lets assume, would either not grow old or one would be able to get rid of the old cells and replace them with newer ones. Immortality is not a just a wanted, dreamt of phenomenon, but as we know it, now an area of research. A branch of technology.

Let us try and analyze all this from a different plane.
Rapidly changing technology has given us the confidence to think that anything can be achieved at some point of time. If enough time is spent towards a specified goal, we can really achieve it. But is it really technology that has made us so capable? Technology in itself is static. If left at a point, no progress is possible by itself. It is the change that brings the improvement in technology that has made this possible. This change is what has made technology a source of such anchored confidence. Let us try dig at the roots of this source of confidence. What brings about change? What is change? But to answer these questions in the literary sense would be useless here. That would not get us to the explanation being put forward. In reference to our pivot, i.e. technology, change can be said to be a kind of re-orientation. In the simplest form, a re-orientation of aim, path or deductions. This re-orientation takes place with the genesis of thought, or principle. This is the point where the problem has to be viewed from a different angle, a new angle. But to change ones perspective, a perspective that has been the guide to the point where change is necessary, something drastic has to happen. This is where technology shows its static nature. Here no progress is possible until you change something. You change your path or your deductions. This is a state of lull, an impasse, a hang-up. Now, you have to think and bring changes in a way you have neither anticipated, nor have you programmed your technology is such a way.

To indulge deeper into explanation, let us start from where technology starts. It starts with one basic truth that we assume. This truth, which is an assumption initially, may not be an assumption at all. It may just be a dream. But to get to that dream we need to start. We start by climbing a ladder of truths, one truth at a time in such a manner that every truth is based upon the truths lower than it in the ladder. To start building this ladder, we need one truth to start with. It might not be the most crucial one, but it is the one that starts off the process. To choose this base truth, we assume our dream to be true, and start off with the ladder.

Now, when we are building this ladder, it may be possible that the first ‘x’ truths may be placed in exactly the same order, in which they were placed to prove some other assumption. But to get to this new assumption, we have to change our orientation. This is critical to place the next truth ‘y’ so that our whole path is re-oriented.

Hence, change is required, in the aim (assumption), the path and the deduction (i.e. to understand what we have arrived at).

To make progress, the major element that provides change is the human mind. But a single, same, mind cannot provide all the change at every point. This change is provided by different people at different times, in different centuries, in different lifetimes. As people change, so does technology. It changes faster than time or nature. Mind is the most dynamic of all forces, the most unimaginable ‘changing force’ that drives progress.

This force is so dynamic that it is constantly changing itself too. Its dynamic nature can be realised by two attributes:
The ever changing state of mind.
The ever changing minds comprising the total mind-force.

New minds are born everyday and every one of these minds is changing every second.

yet not taken a bath
havent brushed my teeth
i kick the bed
only to hurt my feet

you left so early today
so i know things arent certainly right
even you must be thinking somewhere
i hope you’re done with that before tonite

i’m waiting for you now
just dont leave me n say ur not mine
thats you n me babe
two glasses and a broken bottle of wine

i dont know why
i started off with that last night
you went to sleep
without me by your side

the dinner was good
so was the walk
its just me who fucks up the whole thing
with my smart talk

i know you wanted the night
so did i
its just these small things
i cant figure out why

i’m waiting for you now
just dont leave me n say ur not mine
thats you n me babe
two glasses and a broken bottle of wine

i dont feel so good
throughout the bright day
just calling you up again n again
but then not knowing what to say

the bed’s still a mess
it smells of you
i’m feeling so alone
i dont know what to do

it feels so strange
though we’ve been through this before
i step out and step in again
i cant think of anywhere to go

i’m waiting for you now
just dont leave me n say ur not mine
thats you n me babe
two glasses and a broken bottle of wine

i’ve cleaned the mess
the bed is all done
its still smells of you though
its meant for us to have some fun

its getting dark now
so the candle’s been lit
i’m looking at the street
pondering over last night’s shit

the music is on
the wine is out
just come back home
baby you can shout

i’m waiting for you now
just dont leave me n say ur not mine
thats you n me babe
two glasses and a broken bottle of wine

6:15 PM 9/8/2004

AWESOME COLLECTION OF BOOKS … i dont know about the editions , but great collection anyways….

This link is for you Alam , some MEL-how-to’s … check it out

AWESOME image …. probabaly in some 3-D s/w .
Check out www.cgnetworks.com for some amazing photoshop/3-D tutorials

never knew even websites needed some 3d cards to play properly …. I rate this site AWESOME !!!!

Just downloaded DJ Tiesto’s new album “Just Be”
Especially the track: Love Comes Again

Try n get it Aman …